Laughter truly is the best medicine

I went to a double baby shower last night... for two of the ladies in the mom's club that are both having baby boys in August. Surprisingly, I was not bothered by going to a baby shower, so at least that is one hurdle I've jumped! And I'm really glad that I went. We had so much fun... laughing, giggling like school girls over really silly jokes. I haven't laughed that hard in a long time. And it felt great! So thanks ladies of the NE area moms club, for being so silly and allowing me three hours of absolute giddiness!!

Committed

Well I've made a commitment to post regularly... even if it is not every day, and even if it is only to myself! At least if I'm the only one reading it I know that the readers are all satisfied with the content!! ;-) But the only time I get to post is usually late at night... so please, no judging me! I spent the day with a friend of mine from college. We met up at the zoo and had a great time there for about 2.5 hours - with SEVEN children!!! Luckily three of them were in strollers, but the other four are ages 6,5,3, and 2, so we had our hands full. But we handled it beautifully, and a good time was had by all! A year ago I could not have even imagined enjoying this type of scenario, but my life has changed so much and I am so grateful for the three beautiful children that I have and also grateful to my husband for making the sacrifices necessary for me to be home with the kids. Now I can't imagine life any other way. Well, I can imagine it one other way. In the scenario in my head, the two infants in the double stroller are BOTH my babies... but in reality, the second infant is the daughter of my close friend. I agreed to keep the baby when she went back to work, and I am so happy to help her out and to have the opportunity to experience what life COULD have been like. I also love to see my baby interacting with another infant. But it does not fill the void that is in my life that Kathryn should be filling. I had so many great ideas of profound and interesting ideas I wanted to blog about tonight... but alas, all I can think of now is the fact that it's almost 11pm and I am exhausted. Maybe one day...

Moving On...

In just a few short days it will be six months since my identical twin daughters were born, followed two days after by the death of one of my girls. I have been considering beginning a blog since I was pregnant and first received the news about the syndrome my babies suffered from, as well as motherhood in general, handling grief, the loss of a baby, finding happiness, and moving on... but I just could not do it. I have always wanted to be a writer, yet I've been scared to begin the journey. Now I feel I have a story worth sharing, a topic worthy of deeper investigation, and the motivation to preserve every memory of my precious daughter Kathryn. Why start tonight? I happened to be on Facebook at just the right time when someone posted a link to a blog that I decided to look at. Within her blog, I found this quote:
“If you wait for skill before you dare anything, you will only wait and ache. Yet proceed with simplicity and you will inch, then launch, toward proficiency. Don’t ache to be great. Don’t desire and wait. Care enough about your gifts to get there.” – Tama J. Kieves

This inspired me to get moving on the things I have been pushing aside. I hope that I can stay dedicated now that I've taken the leap to begin!